They are growing up

I have told parents for so many years about two significant stages of maturity in children's lives. The first one is 7 and the second is when children begin 4th grade.

I learned about the first stage of 7 years old when I read a quote by Saint Francis of Xavier who said, "Give me your child till they are seven years old and you can have them the rest of their life." I learned that Saint Francis believed that in the first seven years a child becomes who they are. After this time you can guide and direct them, but only in those first seven years can you shape them. Once I learned about this I saw it clearly as I stayed in my previous church for six years. Those little children that I knew personally in preschool all of the sudden became a new child in the spring of their first grade year. I would always laugh because it was so cute to see this child become so independant and yet still remain a child. Back in February I knew it was coming with my youngest and only a month later I saw it clear as day. Andrew had become his own little person. I could guide him, I could direct him, I could still teach him, but him as a person, he had already become.

Last night I realized that my oldest had reached the fourth grade stage. I should have known it was coming, after all he is in fourth grade now but he has only been in school three days. Like it or not after several weeks of him acting uniquely independant it came to a head last night. His response to strict discipline was outraged (which I have seen before) but it showed an expression in his eyes and his face that was saying "Don't treat me like a little boy anymore, I am ready to grow up."

This reminded me of an old story that my Grandma had told me many times about my Grandpa (born in 1894). Grandpa had a little brother who was the king of tattling. Grandpa also had a mother who believed everything he said. The story begins when one day Grandpa went down to the water well to carry some up to the house. Grandma said that it was quite a distance and his little brother would always follow him down and back. The problem was that many times he would come back and tell his Mother that my grandpa had hurt him. It was tradition that his Mother would spank Grandpa with a spoon and his Mother was a tough old women with a strong arm. This time was different. Grandpa returned with the water after his little brother had run ahead to tattle. His Mother, as usual, told my Grandpa to come over so she could spank him. Grandpa said "No." Grandma said that his Mother was shocked and got very angry but she wasn't strong enough to hold him down. His Mom told him that he was going to get a bigger spank when his Father got home. Grandma said it was a long day waiting for his Father to get home. That night when his Dad got home my Grandpa snuck over to the room where his Mother and Father were talking. Much to his surprise his Father, who Grandma said had a calming personality, told her that their son had become a man and was too old to spank. His Mother got angry but knew that her husband was still the man of this house and relaxed as he may seem, he was also someone you couldn't control (which was exactly like my Grandpa). Grandma said that from that day on he never got a spank again.

That story has become even more personal as I see my son has begun this stage. He is no longer the little boy any more he is someone who is ready to be respected and accept more responsibilities. He is ready, but only with prayer am I going to be ready for this stage of his life.